Planning Your Temple Wedding
Being based in Utah, we have the opportunity to work with many incredible couples who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who choose to be married in one of the beautiful temples in our area. This article will explain some common wedding traditions of Latter-day Saints in Utah, and offer some tips for planning your temple wedding and reception.
While many wedding planning elements are the same across various traditions, there are some that are unique to planning an LDS temple wedding, and that are culturally popular in Utah.
Temple Sealing
A temple marriage ceremony, known as a temple sealing, is a very sacred religious rite for members of the church. As the couple kneel before the altar, they make promises to one another and God, and are sealed (joined) as husband and wife for all eternity. Because of the sacred religious nature of the ceremony only faithful church members, and typically only those with a close relationship to the couple attend the ceremony. It’s common for extended family and friends to wait in the designated waiting area within the temple, or to gather just outside the temple to cheer & greet the couple following the ceremony when they exit.
photo: Heidi Burton, Draper Utah Temple
Choosing Your Temple
With so many temples to choose from, how do you decide? Here are some things to think about when deciding which temple is right for you?
Is there a temple that holds a special sentimental value for you?
Which temple is most convenient for you and your guests?
Can the temple accommodate the number of guests you’d like to invite to your sealing?
Is the temple available for the date you want to be married, and if so is there an appointment time that works for your overall wedding day timeline?
Do the grounds offer the space and landscape you would like to have for pictures?
Saratoga Springs Temple, Photo: David FreestoneLet’s break down the 4 biggest things to take into account.
Location:
Location, location, location. Ideally you’ll want to choose a temple that is convenient for you and your guests to get to. Time is precious on your wedding day, and traveling between the different events of the day can eat up a lot of time, cause delays in your wedding day timeline, create stress, and be frustrating to your guests. Convenience is key!
Availability:
You’ll need to call the temple of your choice and find out if they have availability for the date you’d like to be married. We recommend to all of our couples to have 2-3 possible wedding dates in mind in the beginning. Sometimes you are truly limited by schedules, but it will save you so much frustration if you have a little flexibility. It’ll be so helpful as you try to schedule the temple, find a reception venue, and secure the rest of your wedding vendors.
Capacity:
In addition to securing the date you’ll want to ask about the seating capacity for the sealing rooms to ensure that they can accommodate the number of guests you would like to have. This means you'll want to sit down ahead of time and come up with a preliminary guest list for your sealing ceremony, so that you have a good idea of how many people you would like to include.
Timing:
We understand that during the busy wedding season temple appointment times can be limited. But some of the best advice we can give is to try and think of the big picture of your day-of- timeline when deciding on a sealing time. Consider the day in its entirety. If there's too large of a gap between the different events, this can be hard for your guests, especially those who have come from out of town. They won’t know what to do while waiting for the next thing to happen. If there’s not enough time your pictures may be cut short, or everything else will run late or feel rushed. Sealing ceremony timing also comes into play when deciding if you will have a luncheon, or a dinner, and the type of reception you choose (more on that later). Your wedding planner or coordinator can help you put together a day-of timeline to help everything flow smoothly. A well planned and executed timeline is essential to making your wedding day stress free.
The Wedding Luncheon
A wedding luncheon is a wedding event that is unique to LDS temple weddings and a very common wedding day tradition in Utah. Because a temple ceremony involves only the sealer (officiant) and the couple themselves, there’s no need for a ceremony rehearsal and its accompanying rehearsal dinner, which is traditionally hosted by the groom's family for those who are a part of the wedding, close family & friends. The luncheon takes its place as the portion of the celebration hosted by the groom's family. As a note, it's not uncommon nowadays for the couple themselves to host. The luncheon follows the temple ceremony, and typically only those invited to the ceremony & close family and friends are invited to the luncheon. It’s common in Utah for this meal to be referred to as “the luncheon” regardless of the time of day (brunch, lunchtime, dinner time, etc.) The luncheon is commonly held at a restaurant, a church, or an event venue. It can be cost-effective, and convenient to use the same venue for the luncheon and the reception. What works well is for the two families to share the cost of the venue rental, and for the couple to work together with their families. Your wedding planner or coordinator will be experienced at helping the families navigate working together and coordinating vendors for a cohesive design, and smooth flowing timeline for the day.
Utah Wedding Receptions
Although some couples may opt for a traditional sit down dinner reception with a designated schedule & program, most temple wedding receptions in Utah follow a slightly different format. The reception is often an open house style, free flowing event, usually held in the evening. Guests come and go within the event time window. Formalities such as cutting a wedding cake, bouquet toss, and first dance are still common elements, typically followed by dancing for the last hour of the event. The reception catering will vary based on the couples preferences and could range from a complete meal, hors d'oeuvres, or sweets only. It’s less common to have a meal since a luncheon occurred a few hours earlier in the day. Whether you’re having a free-flowing reception or something more formal, we always recommend to our couples to request RSVP’s. This will save you so much stress, and cost, to know how many people you’ll be hosting. Everything from the size of the venue, centerpieces, table linens, and catering are affected by the guest count. One last thought on guest count. You may feel obligated to invite your entire congregation or neighborhood. But remember, this is a very personal and special occasion, not a church social, and it is appropriate to invite only those who you have a relationship with, or who were influential in your life growing up.
Ring Ceremony
It’s become increasingly popular for couples to include a ring ceremony in their schedule of events on their wedding day. A ring ceremony is a symbolic, rather than a legal ceremony. As mentioned earlier, the temple sealing is an important religious rite for the couple, and is very intimate, often with a very small number of guests. This allows the couple to include those who were not with them in the temple ceremony to be included in their special day. The ring ceremony has the same elements as a traditional wedding ceremony, with a processional, attendants, the couple sharing personal expressions of their love and commitment, and the exchanging of rings. Followed by a recessional. It’s often officiated by a family member or friend who is close to the couple.
So, if you’re attending a wedding as a guest, hopefully you have a better understanding of what to expect, and the traditions surrounding temple weddings and receptions in Utah. If you’re engaged and beginning to plan your temple wedding, these tips will get you off to a great start! Working with a wedding planner or coordinator who is experienced in planning temple wedding celebrations, and is familiar with the church, and the traditions of its members, will take the stress off of you and your family, allowing you to be truly present to enjoy your day with those who mean the most to you.
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“As the father of the bride, I couldn’t have been more pleased. I will admit that I wondered if it would be worth it. I was able to play pickle ball the night before, and my wife was watching a movie. The day was so good, and we were able to totally focus on the wedding and the people.”